Chaplain at Kirkconnell Correctional Centre
The loss of a loved one is one of the most painful experiences for a human being to go through.
We deep down know this is not how life should be. As the writer of Ecclesiastes puts it… “He (God) has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11a) We treasure the time shared with a loved one. We treasure their love and support, the good times, even the hard times. We treasure the memories.
But that’s just it. They are only memories now, which doesn’t sit right with us. As the writer of Ecclesiastes continued… “He (God) has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” (3:11b)
This is all amplified for the inmate.
So many inmates lose a loved one while they are doing their time. They feel the loss with so much guilt wrapped around it. They were not there to help care for their aging parent or sick child or partner with a terminal illness. They were not there to even say goodbye face to face in the final days, though a phone call is thankfully usually possible and cherished. But attending the funeral in person, even for an immediate family member is highly unlikely.
One of the benefits of the Covid pandemic was the rolling out of Audio Visual Links at Churches and Chapels. And smart phones can relay a graveside service – all potentially accessed by inmates. But it’s still not the same as being there physically. Many inmates choose to not avail themselves of this as it can only further emphasise their guilt.
Then there is how inmates can die in custody themselves – a very lonely, sad conclusion, usually from a terminal illness, but without the direct comfort from loved ones we so treasure on the outside. For some, they sadly have no loved ones to even receive a comforting phone call or letter from, again, all amplifying their guilt.
Thankfully in Australia, there is rarely a death in custody from abuse from a Custodial Officer. The more realistic threat is from a violent fellow inmate. Witnessing this or just the fear of this brings another palpable taste of death.
Whichever way you look at it, gaol is one of the saddest places to be when it comes to death.
And yet, the power of God can miraculously shine through.
I have sat with inmates as they have watched the funeral service online. I have seen their tears. But I have also seen their hope when they have known their loved one had faith in Jesus and that one day there will be a great reunion (1 Thessalonians 4:17). I have seen them claim the promises of God that even though they “walk through the valley of the shadow of death”, they know God “restores (their) soul” (Psalm 23). I have prayed with them as they have faced their own immanent mortality and “the peace of God that transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7) is very real, knowing because of Jesus’ victory on the cross death has lost its sting (1 Corinthians 15:55-57).
Death can bring clarity.
As a Chaplain, it is a privilege to be there in amongst this great sadness and seek the real hope.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
